Stuttering Through Speech Therapy & Becoming A Sports Writer

Transcript

[00:00:00] Hey listeners, it's that time again. We've been telling you all about Proudstutter's Burbank event in December. And now it's just around the corner. I can't wait to see you on December 4th in Burbank. It's going to be a night with a live performance, great food, great company, a raffle, and even a sneak preview of our documentary.

You'll even be able to meet the stars of our documentary. Um, it's going to be such a special night. We still have tickets left, but they're going out fast, like I said, so be sure to grab yours as soon as you can. Head to proudstutter. org slash events. I promise you it's going to be a night to remember.

See you there.

I'm Maya Chupkov and [00:01:00] I'm a woman who stutters. Welcome to Proud Stutter, a show about stuttering and embracing verbal diversity in an effort to change how we talk about it, one conversation at a time.

Ryan, I am so excited to speak with you. You've really been at the beginning of the proud stutter journey. I remember you were one of the first people to email me and I'm so excited that we're finally having you on the podcast. Welcome to proud stutter. Can you talk about, you know, some of your earliest memories of your stutter?

When did it start and how was navigating, School like for you? Uh, uh, uh, like when started exactly sort of ambiguous. I do know that I was around six years old, but first time I saw a speech pathologist, I didn't, I, I didn't know that I [00:02:00] stuttered. If you can believe that, um, I was in kindergarten. It was just a regular day.

And, uh, uh, I had a woman came in class, see me SLP. Now I didn't know what an SLP was. I don't think I ever knew what stuttering was, but, uh, But you can't see me now. I was kind of a shy sensitive kid. So like, uh, if someone came to see me at school and didn't know where they were, I got kind of nervous, uh, thinking I was in trouble or something.

That obviously wasn't the case. You know, it's funny, but my parents may have mentioned it to me beforehand, but I had such a short attention span. I don't remember. Uh, but the teacher knew who this SLP was, so I gave her the benefit of the doubt. And, uh, and the SLP and I, we went to an empty office across the hall from my classroom.

And we just talked, uh, had small talk for 15 20 [00:03:00] minutes. You know, just like basic questions, uh, you know, just like school, how I enjoy school, what I like to do for fun, but she never brought up stuttering, which made it even more, uh, confusing. And then, uh, at the end of those 15, 20 minutes, uh, we're about to leave the office and she's very encouraging.

She's like, that was good, Ron. That was really good. And here I am thinking like. I mean, I appreciate it, but I don't know why you're so impressed. So, uh, we, uh, so she brought back my class, went her separate ways and, and that was the end of it for that day. And after that period, when you parted ways, um, what would happen?

Did anything change at all? I do remember I was having like, like more difficulty trying to speak in the coming. Months. You know, I sort of, I sort of, sort of [00:04:00] compared to like the opposite of a sore throat where, uh, where like you have a sore throat, it hurts to swallow. Well, in my case, it, it actually be, it, it was the opposite.

That hurt, uh, you know, words and sounds I was trying to get out it, it hit the back, back of my throat and it wasn't, you know, a pleasant feeling, you know? And this SLPI saw. For the remainder of that year. And, um, um. No disrespect, or. I'm sure she did a fine job. It's just I don't really remember anything about, teaching or anything.

So grade one, I changed schools. Uh, uh, um, um, um, uh, uh, uh. Uh, uh. And, uh, no, with the new school came a new SLP, uh, um, [00:05:00] Carol, uh, uh, what's her name? Or is her name? Uh, and that's when I just got, like, more, more revisual appreciation for stuttering. Cause, like, she taught me. You know, uh, the techniques, uh, she taught me how to handle these.

Um, it, it was really my first introduction to stuttering. And how was being in speech therapy? Like, how did that make you feel? Because you probably like, there's always like mixed feelings around the speech therapy. And I know people who stutter have like so many different. experiences with speech therapy.

So yeah, like how was speech therapy for you as far as like how you felt, um, during it and the impact it had on you. Uh, for many years, I saw speech therapy the same way I saw just school in general, like, you know, it was like, you know, kind of a drag and obligation. I don't really want to be there. Uh, no, no, no, [00:06:00] no, no, uh, uh, you know, and there are a lot of times where, you know, I felt kind of embarrassed because, you know, I was in the middle of class, You know, our class size are like 25, 30 kids generally.

And, uh, uh, uh, no, no, no. Uh, or, you know, sometimes my speech therapist would actually come into the class, uh, you know, kind of escort me out, would just like, and which grand scheme of things isn't a big deal. But, but like for. For, for a kid who's so self conscious, it's like, oh jeez, uh, uh, you know, I don't want others to know I have speech therapy.

For how long of a period were you in speech therapy, and did you ever sort it out later in life? Uh, I was, um,

[00:07:00] in, in speech therapy for,

uh,

uh, 10 or 11 years or so. So like, um, uh, it depends on the day or just how I was feeling. Um, uh, you know, there are times I really enjoyed speech therapy. And, and there are other times I just didn't so much. Like speech therapy was generally like a drag for me, like an obligation when I was a kid, but um, by the time I turned 18 I was discharged.

So like I grew up in Ottawa, Ontario like for the first number of years like like I got speech therapy through the Ottawa Children's Treatment Centre and uh, uh, and after a few years There was a big change over when I was in grade four. And [00:08:00] so afterwards I got through the school board and, and the school board said, once you turn 18, you can't have speech therapy anymore.

Oh, wow. And, um, what happened after you were discharged from the program? Oh, to be honest, like when I was discharged, I didn't think it was a big deal because it's like, okay, well, you know, I'm about to graduate high school moving on. It's okay. But after about three years, um, uh, you know, I decided that my, I mean, I realized my speech wasn't really getting any better, you know, and I heard about this like nationally renowned, uh, speech pathologist who was at the Ottawa rehabilitation center, uh, which was like just down the street from the treatment center.

So I, uh, uh, you know, so, you know, as I went there, Uh, like to meet her, this was 2001 or two. You know, we talked, we had a couple [00:09:00] sessions and, and, uh, and when all was said, done, she basically told me that, well, you know, at this juncture, it's not about you knowing the techniques, it's about you. Like using the techniques.

So basically what she told me was that like, well, in terms of learning, there's nothing else to learn. You have to kind of like use them more efficiently, I guess. You know, and I try my best from then on forward, but, but I didn't get, I didn't think about speech therapy for the next maybe 12, 13 years. Yeah.

I'm trying to put myself in your position because I feel like if someone were to tell me, Oh, there's nothing else. You know left for me to teach you like you need to figure it out on your own I would I would feel really discouraged like um, like how did you feel after? You were you were told that Yeah, no, no.

Um, I for the for a little while I was able to brush it off. But but [00:10:00] unfortunately, uh, unfortunately my speech It's not you know, my speech difficulties kept uh, he kept I guess Not to sensationalize it but kept rearing its ugly head. So it's like um, uh You know, and after so long, it's like, well, you know, I do want to look into this again.

And, uh, cause by 2014, I had a job where they actually covered speech therapy. Uh, I mean, it wasn't much, it was like 500 a year, but like, um, Uh, no, but nevertheless, I did, I did some research, uh, uh, and, and, and just found like all these different clinics, uh, uh, in Toronto with it, that's where I live now and, um, uh, Don't get me wrong, they were all like great services, uh, but the thing was a lot of them were charging like an exorbitant amount of money.

And that's kind of like made me [00:11:00] stop and kind of like, like regret how I felt in school because like, you know, I felt like there was an obligation growing up, but I never really factored in the financial aspect of it. So now That I'm an adult. It's like, I mean, I'll be paying, you know, uh, uh, uh, uh, 5, 000

a year. And like, like I had some money at the time, but I didn't have that much money. So like, It was discouraging for sure. Yeah. Wow. That's, that's really, that's really tough. Um, so, so Ryan, you're a sports writer and an author. Can you talk about Like how you got into to sports writing [00:12:00] myspace 2005 Like that's when social media was really had this infancy and And I'm about to hang around one day.

I was kind of bored and And I just heard about this This new thing called myspace, uh, which this was right before facebook. So this was pretty unpleasant so You know, I check out myspace. I'm like, okay, this is pretty cool. And then I noticed myspace as a block. So I figured oh Uh, because i've always enjoyed writing since I was maybe And, uh, I thought, well, okay, a blog.

I could, I could write about stuff that people can read about online. And then, um, um, I mean at the beginning I just wrote whatever came to mind, but like like after a while [00:13:00] I just like, uh, It was like it's like i'm a big baseball hockey. And so I watched a lot of those sports Um, and my favorite teams whether it's the boston red sox or the la kings and hockey um He would do just one of those things were like I just began watching games, you know, and then I kind of write my own recaps about the game, I mean, baseball was tough because, because the baseball season is so long, uh, but, but hockey, I was able to keep up with a bit and like, uh, what, um, uh, no, and I just really enjoyed writing about those two teams, but also just sports in general.

And then I realized before I know what I was. It's getting a bit of a following, uh, knowing from there, I just thought to myself, Hey, you know, uh, this is something I could really get used to. I really enjoy this. My space popularity kind of fell by the wayside then Facebook [00:14:00] came in and Facebook had like a note section, uh, when it first started.

So basically I would write like mock sports articles, mostly about the Kings, but like about general issues in sports as well. And I kept that up for the next couple of years, uh, and as I was studying in school, uh, I was still writing about the Kings and, and that's the first time I, you know, because, because the advent of, like, streaming services, I was able to watch every Kings game for the first time ever.

So, um, uh, and then, like, December of 09. A gentleman out of New York, uh, reached out to me on Facebook and he said, Hey, me and my partner are starting a sports social media site. We're looking for writers for each team in each league. Now, you know, a stranger writes, reach out to you on Facebook. You're not inclined to respond right away.

Uh, So I gave him the bend of the doubt, we talked back and [00:15:00] forth, and, um, uh, and before I knew it, right before the Vancouver Olympics, I was writing, uh, for my own site, makewayforthegames. net. It's no longer around anymore, but, uh, but I kept that up for seven years. And, uh, it was just one of those things.

He asked me to write a couple articles a month. I didn't feel better. I wrote like four a week and, uh, and I was just really kind of kind of like in my zone with that. And, uh, um, for the first few years, I wrote a lot of just like opinion pieces, previews, recaps, stuff like that. And I enjoyed all that.

Don't get me wrong, but an ulterior motive for doing all that was so I wouldn't have to interview anyone because you know, me being in Toronto and everyone else being 3000 miles. The West in LA, I would most likely have to use the phone. And, um, uh, and I've always had considerable difficulty speaking on the phone.

So to [00:16:00] me, it was like, uh, uh, you know, just like, you know, at the, at the time, it was just something that like, out of the question, I'm not even going to try it. Yeah. But, um, um, No, but after a few years, and after a tough time in my life in 2016, I just decided, Hey, you know what? Uh, there's an app for pretty much everything.

Um, okay, speaking live on the phone is tough. But, um, you know, I can pre record my questions, and, and, uh, you know, and a few other things too. Um, you know, to make my questions, you know, fluent, uh, and then I can play them. Um, uh, uh, uh, you know, there are a few adjustments that had to be made about that. But like, like overall, I felt like I adapted to it.

And in 2016, [00:17:00] uh, the, the Kings had their 50th anniversary and I decided, Hey, um, I'm going to interview 50 former Kings to coincide with the events. Uh, uh, uh. You know, there's some kinks here and there, but, but it worked out very well. And, uh, from there over the phone, at least, uh, um, I've, you know, I'm proud to say I've, I've interviewed almost, uh, 400 people.

So that is incredible and so inspiring that you were able to just. Do it and you also wrote a book which I'd love for you to talk about your book and There we go And yeah, what inspired you to write it? How is that journey for you?

That's my brother Adam cuz Uh, uh, he's always been a big supporter of mine. He is always given me [00:18:00] ideas on, on, on what to write. Like, Hey, should interview this person or that person, stuff like that. And I remember it was actually early in the pandemic. Um, he told me, Hey, um, you have enough, you know, you should write a book.

You have enough material for a book. You know, we had a lot of downtime during that, that period. And, um, um, uh, you know, and I've decided. I'm not going to put in any order, I'm going to worry about the order at the end, uh, just write about whichever part of your life you want to. And that was my motivation really, just, uh, just get up in the morning, uh, do some writing before you do anything else.

Uh, the writing part, I got through it in Maybe a couple months and and you know, and I had people edit it and and look over it and all that and uh, No, no, no, no, you know and lo [00:19:00] and behold I published it, uh I guess, uh, um,

uh, 2021. So yeah. Yeah. Writing a book, man. I can't even imagine how much work that must have been. It sounds like you've accomplished a lot. And so I guess what are you working on now? And. And is there anything you're hoping, like, what's your next project gonna be? What is your hopes for, like, future projects in the future?

I am working on a new speaking presentation, uh, um, called

Commanding Respects[00:20:00]

as a Person. Thank you.

Uh, stutters. I, I started that. I only started that in recent weeks. Um, uh, there have just been so many times, so like, whether I tried to speak or even if I was speaking fluently, uh, you know, and you could hear my voice kind of shaky as, you know, as it tends to be sometimes. And, um, uh, uh, I would always. And, and I would sometimes get like a negative reaction to it.

Like, like, um, uh, you know, some would laugh, some would, you know, cock their head or ask if I was. Okay. And is there a specific memory you have from one of the, these, these jobs that comes up for you? I remember one particular job I had, it was a disaster because like one of the reasons [00:21:00] I tried to talk and.

And, eh, you know, and the people I was working with more or less boxed me out, so it's like, uh, yeah, and I really didn't think that was fair, obviously. And, uh, uh, and I remember I applied for a job many years ago, and, um, uh, and they decided to call me and have the phone interview on the spot, which, as you can imagine, And I told him my thing with the phone, it was a disaster.

I could, I could barely get a word out. And, um, and that they just email me afterwards. And like one line told me, yeah, we were, we decided not to give you the job. And so it's kind of like one of those things where we're like, um, you know, for many years, I was so hard on myself, like tell between my legs, because I figured, well, if I, if, You know, if I'm not the best at verbal communication, I guess I'm not [00:22:00] very good.

Uh, now thankfully, I've, I've had, I've had a great job, uh, jobs, really, in the last seven years or, or as far as my, as far as my stuttering went, uh. Uh, um, you know, it's never been a big deal to anyone and, uh, um, you know, and that's what like the commanding respect comes from. You know, you don't have to be loud and boisterous about it.

You don't have to be rude about it. But like, but like, if, if you're walking into a situation, whether it's a new job or, you know, uh, uh, just a new group of friends or something, um. You know, you say, okay, here's the deal. I'm a person of stutter, but like, um, uh, uh, uh, that does not impact my, my ability to do a good job.

This doesn't impact my intelligence. [00:23:00] Uh, uh, So if you want to talk to me one on one, and, and, you know, if I have a, if I have trouble speaking, uh, please don't back away, uh, uh, you know, I'll use a notice device on my phone, or, or, if we're on computers or our phones, we can use Skype. Gchat, the bottom line, my point is, like, like, uh, yes, I'm a person with stutters, but, uh, you know, I'm very good at, um, I'm very good with all the alternative ways.

Uh,

come.[00:24:00]

So, yeah. Awesome. Well, Ryan, thank you so much for coming on, um, and speaking with me. This was. Like you've just accomplished so much and I feel like so many people are gonna Walk away from this interview feeling empowered and inspired to just go after what you really want in life So thank you so much Yeah, well, well, um Thank you for the iron words, uh, um and It was a Real Uh, pfft.

Le Le leisure. Uh.

[00:25:00] Being here.

And that's it for this episode of Proud Stutter. This episode of Proud Stutter was produced and edited by me, Maya Chuka. Our music was composed by Augusto Denise and our artwork. By Mara Ezekiel and Noah Chupkov. If you have an idea or want to be part of a future episode, visit us at www. proudstutter.com. And if you like the show, you can leave us a review wherever you are listening to this podcast. Want to leave us a voicemail? Check out our show notes for the number to call in. More importantly, tell your friends to listen too. Until we meet again, thanks for listening. Be proud and be [00:26:00] you.