Teen Who Stutters Helps Others Find Their Voice

Transcript

Maya Chupkov:

If I Maya chubkov and I am a woman who stutters welcome to Proud stutter a Show about stuttering and embracing verbal diversity in an effort to change how we talk about it one conversation at a time.

Welcome back to Proud stutter. I am so thrilled to introduce today's co-host who also happens to be my fiancee. Kyle Smiley. Kyle is a legislative aid for Dean Preston a San Francisco supervisor. Kyle works on a ton of different policies and issues including making our housing more affordable tenants rights and supporting our small businesses. Welcome to the show Kyle.

Kyle Smeallie:

Thanks so much for having me.

Maya:

And our guest today is Priya a teenager who stutters from Sydney Australia. She's also a podcaster and has a wonderful Instagram page that is a must follow both are called stutter conversations. Priya welcome to the show.

Priya Isaacs:

Thank you so much why for having these exciting?

Maya:

Well, I am so excited to have you on it's been a long time coming. Can you tell us a little bit about your Instagram page and your podcasts that are conversations?

Priya:

Yes, so I had started my Instagram started conversation and then it was it was starting to pick up and I was getting a lot of support for and then I was on my stuttering life's podcast and I was just Pep Pedro and we were just talking about stuttering and all that. And after we had stopped we he was saying that there's no one actually who studies who is a teenager and has a podcast that studies and is a teenager and I thought that's such a cool Niche. I never would have ever. thought of starting a podcast because it was something that I was always really scared to talk about with stuttering, but I said, that's so cool and I can talk to teenagers she started and I can talk to other people who started and I just thought I'd be really cool thing and also just Exploring my confidence well and kind of building up my confidence and that I really wanted to strive for as well. So that was kind of how it started.

Maya:

That's awesome. And how long have you been podcasting and how has the process been for you so far?casting for maybe four months five months right that or maybe even longer actually. No, but it's been really it's been really exciting. I've been able to meet so many amazing people that I never would have ever thought whatever meeting before starting this and I've learned so much about the people and I was just talking to a teenager who started just last week and it was just so amazing to finally be able to talk about being a teenager and stuttering because it's something that is really important right now for me because I never would ever talk to teenagers who started so it's just been so amazing to just hear everyone's stories and then um, Also just exploring and like finding myself and stuttering as well which isn't really cool.

Maya:

Is it easy for you to find teenagers who stutter or do you have to kind of like, how do you go about getting guests on your show?

Priya:

Um, It's it depends. I've had a couple people that asked me if they to be on my podcast which has been really cool. It's been harder to find teenagers because everyone's going through their own stuttering journey and acceptance is a really big thing. So I I try to be very careful with how I asked people um, because I don't want them to feel uncomfortable or anything. So it's kind of just people that I admire and I look up to Israel and I reach out to them and then people reach out to me as well. It's so cool, but it's definitely hard to find teenagers whose daughter and I don't really know that many in Australia as well. Um, so yeah, I've just got to try and Branch out a little bit and find out but yeah, it's hard because everyone's on on different parts as well.

Kyle:

Do you find that your audience has mainly Young Folks and Young Folks from Australia, or is it sort of like all over all over the map?

Priya:

I don't actually know to be honest. I kind of just rely on the app that tells me like where everyone is but I would say it's it's very different. It's very Broad. Yeah, I don't actually know it's because. Before you appeared on my stuttering life.

Kyle:

Was was that your first Experience open up opening up?

Priya:

Publicly and what made you like? How did that interview happen? Yeah, it was um, so he approached me after a couple posts that I made on my Instagram. I just started my podcast my Instagram. So I was very new to the whole thing. And then he had approached me and was saying that like my Instagram was really like cool and he would love to talk to me and I was like Like I was already kind of at the point where I was like, okay, I started I want to be able to help other people because there's points in my life and I as soon as even bringing up stuttering I would just like have a big break down. It was a really hard for me to even talk about it and especially with school and everything. It was quite difficult, but Yeah, he approached me and and then we kind of just starting to talk about stuttering then I was like, oh this is um quite cool like talking about fluttering in this way. I never would have thought of it as a positive thing and something that's actually like been so positive in my life because I always had it it was always so negative as such and it was a really hard time. But yeah, he kind of approached me and we just started talking about lettering and then ever since then it's just kind of been crazy experience.

Maya:

I absolutely love the content that you share on your Instagram page and on your podcast. I I noticed I think it was recently you've been sharing around the petition. From stamina to get more stuttering on a TV and film. Can you talk about that? Petition and what it means to you.

Priya:

I I just actually was just thinking about this because stuttering it affects so many people I was just looking up yesterday was about 17 million people in the world, which is so crazy. Um, but the way thing is you never see anyone on TV that studies you never see anyone on TV shows or movies are and if if you do it's always seen as someone that is shy always weird or something like that and especially as a teenager and growing up, And because obviously social media is so big right now. It's it's so I guess crazy not to be able to see anyone that studies. You can't relate to them, you know the whole thing about TV shows and things that you can be like. Oh, that's so cool. I want to be that or like you can it's like a relatability thing but Seeing people who stutter as like a negative thing. That relatability changes because then it's like I relate to someone who is shy or weird. So I think it's so important that we see more people who start up on TV and it's not also made as a big thing. It's just okay this person started. So what and it's not like made as a huge big. Problem, I guess and it's so important that we see more people who started and it's not made into like a story or it's not made into this big character. It's just another character happens to have this little that kind of thing. So it's so important that we see more people one TV and on the media and it's also so important for the Next Generation as well to be able to see people who started and they can relate to that as well.

Maya:

Hi there I wanted to take just a moment to share some big news with you around the podcast proud stutter was nominated for 2023 and be award and the best DIY podcast category.

So exciting the ambes is the biggest podcasting award show in the world. I am just thrilled to see stuttering Stories being honored and recognized. My hope is that this nomination leads to more understanding and acceptance of verbal diversities. I will be covering the cost to attend the ambi's in person alongside my parents and season one co-host Cynthia chin. This is on top of the expenses of continuing working on episodes for season 2. It would mean the world if you can help me cover some of my expenses

Would you be able to make a small donation any amount counts go to proudstutter.com slash donate to support the show. Also, I want to give a special shout out to our recent supporters. Thank you. Simone Robinson Alexander Mosby Martha. Smeeley Terrell. Rosh Peter Stein Jonathan rice. Dustin Wells Josh Compton marked demuth and Jerry slaf. All your contributions are incredibly appreciated as proud stutter is 100% listener funding. Want to hear your name on the Pod too support us at proudstutter.com/donate.

So another problematic thing in TV and movies is stuttering being the butt of jokes as well.

Priya:

Yeah. Yeah. I thought I was gonna say is the thing about stuttering it's always like like you said the whole body of the joke. The joke is usually like Oh, I forgot the jacket. Oh, yeah, it was did I start off? It's always just like they say something and then it said, oh did I start off? You know, it's it's always that that thing and that's always something like that phrase always really annoys me because it's not a stuttering isn't a joke. It's a thing that actually affects a lot of people and it's a really big thing in a lot of people's lives. So it shouldn't be made as a joke because you can just put everyone else do

Kyle:

I am so much to say about this. But but I noticed is not my interview. I'm just but I have no go head Kyle cool. You give indulge me in this in this little solically because I think it's actually really Germaine what we're talking about now. Have you ever seen the movie Billy Madison Priya? No. Yeah. It's starring Adam Sandler. It's from the 90s. I would say like anybody born between like 1970.

1990 like definitely saw it was like a cultural Cornerstone for people of that age and and the plot. I'll give it really briefly. It's it's um the sun of like a hotel magnate like coasted his way through life and he realizes when he's like in his 30s. He's like I've totally screwed up. I want to go through school all over again. And he's we got these very rich he's able to do this where somehow supposed to identify with them and feel sorry for he's the hero of this. Okay. So, um, he's going to reach grade and he gets to third grade. Right and there's another student there who is attempting to read right and he starts to read he starts to stumble on the word, right and he gets to this one word and he goes to to and then Billy Madison the main character goes today junior, right and that was seen as like a very funny it was portrayed as that, right and and it's not just that it's actually like what happens

Scene afterwards that I think is actually really important to like how we understand these things and how we internalize them as folks who don't stutter right? So right afterwards the teacher takes him out of the class and she says to him making fun of a kid who can't read is so wrong. So right there, what are they doing? They're equating. The inability right with stuttering. So they're saying you can't read Because you stuttered which is so problematic, right? But you just don't think about that when you're watching that but you know, I think about this so much. All right. and then right after that the teacher who was like around his age, it's weird because he's like in the third grade, but he's like 30 years in

He's clearly like in love with the teacher. Yeah, and it's like right after that scene where like she starts to fall in love. Yeah. So not only is he like reinforcing this this notion of like equating stuttering with intelligence, but he's also being rewarded he gets the girl afterwards and you're like it's so problematic. There's so much there that like as a young person watching it. You don't think about those things as like value, right? But it's like it's exactly for that reason. You're not trying to learn how to live your life but it's like you're watching this behavior model and it becomes internalized. Yeah, right and so like I remember we were at a party once and somebody said that line to Maya. Oh my God, and it was like so hurt. Yeah, so like, you know, and it's like but for him, it was just like haha funny moment from a movie. I saw and I think you don't as somebody who you know, I learned so much for this podcast, right? Because it's like it's all these stories of like how you know that those kind of things can be taught maybe inadvertently taught to people and then put

Icon folks who stutter and it's like so hurtful. And so powerful to see like here your story as somebody who is a young person who's like, you know using this to find your path in life, and I'm just like I've known you for like 12 minutes now, and I'm just totally inspired.

Priya:

No, but yeah it is it is such a big problem and I had something similar to that situation at school as well where I was in a group of my friends. We were doing a science project and I remember I was stuttering on something that I had said and this go get just kept kind of repeating what I was saying and was just like I forgot who we're talking about. I think it was something to space or something to do with science, but it was just like she just kept repeating and repeating it like that how I started and I at first I didn't really think much of it because I'm just like whatever like I don't really care is such but then I'm looking. I'm looking at it back now and I'm thinking about what actually happened and I I genuinely do think that she was making fun of it. I don't think it would meant in a rude way. I think she was trying to make a joke or something like that, but it is such a common thing that just happens and I think a lot of the time we just kind of brush it off just like it's fine whatever but I think looking back at it probably was that situation that yeah.

Kyle:

Why do you think people think that's okay?

Priya:

I think because it's thundering isn't something that's talked about and also because and I know I have still have the same feelings of like when I started I probably sound weird sometimes like my voice goes a bit high when I started or sometimes they sound like I'm eventilating or something like that. So it's it's always seen as something that's that's funny or it's so sometimes I also close my eyes or something like that. So it's it's always these like little gestures or something that always seem to be funny to people and especially when when you're a teenager the your biggest thing at school is just to be accepted by your peers. So when you're seeing making fun of someone or doing something like that, it's oh that's so funny. Um, it's gonna make everyone else laugh or something like that, but it's just it's so not the case. It's just hurting someone in that way and it can affect so many people and you don't even know someone said is because everyone's degree of stuttering it's different. So it's there's just I don't understand why people do it

Maya:

and you being a teenager in an age where it seems like at least in the states diversity and disability. It is being more normalized now and like talked about and so I'm wondering because for me I don't really hear stuttering in those controversations around diversity equity and inclusion, and I'm wondering in your school. Is there that more openness to talk about did disabilities and are there spaces where You feel like you can talk about your stutter.

Priya:

Um, so I don't actually go to school anymore. I'm like kind of homeschooled, but I had I went to school I couldn't high school for about four years or three years. But even when I used to have those conversation, I never really brought them up because at that point I just I I didn't want to talk about stuttering it was something and I used to always find ways to kind of consciously hide it and people never really knew I started because I would it was just I kind of would make a joke ahead of it and it's really bad, but I'm kind of like the jokester in the group. I kind of just like make light of situations as much as I can but I never used to talk about stuttering or even stutter in front of my peers because it used to really just make me feel really really Annoyed and angry because I'm like, oh, I can't believe I started it. So annoying everyone talks so normally and I can't say some words sometimes. So I don't think we really had those conversations and even with teachers I used to talk to all my teachers that I started or I I had special notice that that they used to send pamphlets and information to teachers and I was told from my speech the lids that they should come up to me and talk to me about how I would like to be supported in the classroom. But for this three years I sent all that stuff I never was asked about that and I and I think it's something that you it should really be asked because everyone wants to be supported in different ways. So I used to literally have to like email teachers and be like, please don't call on me, um, because I have anxiety as well. So if you call on me, it brings my anxiety up and therefore my stuttering goes up higher and I know in English as well. We used to have to sit in like a big circle and go around and read parts of plays or sonnets or narratives or anything like that and I would sit there and count like okay, it's me next. What am I reading?

And I said tell my teachers I I don't want to do that because again things I understood during it just is just not a good mix and I remember my teacher just never really did anything about it and just made me kind of do it and would give me weird looks when I wouldn't do it. I'm in things and obviously that would make me feel even worse because then I'm like I'm being unfair it's unfair to the kids. What are people don't start her and they don't want to be speaking. I think that in in general you shouldn't call upon people anyway, because you never know what people are going through and some people just shy and don't want to talk which is totally fine.

But The biggest thing about disability talk about is it the disability that that you can see the disability that if someone's in a wheelchair or someone is like that then yes, they kind of talk about it. But even then they don't really talk about it. So I think if I'm that it should really be talked about more because obviously we've got like mental health days and are you okay days and stuff like that, which is really really important because mental health is such something that's also really big but I think we should also be talking about disability as well and not just visibility that you can see visibility that you can't see as well some people and like it's just a whole thing in itself and that's so important and something that's so big and should be talked about more which just isn't even at school. It's so important because you're teaching kids the basis of life and basis of life is everyone is different so

Maya:

That was such a great response.

Priya:

I kind of ranted a little sorry.

Maya:

It's okay. No, I can just hear the passion that you have for this and it's and I like everything you're saying I'm just like yes to everything pretty

Kyle:

was there like a moment or or like a Like something you encounter that like changed how you look at your stutter?

Priya:

I think. the police go back to is I have a cousin everyone can see and uncle but someone a relative I he has a pretty bad. Oh pretty severe stutter. So I had oh we had gone to their house his house. Maybe in year seven a couple years ago three years ago. And so I I had just started going back to speech Theology and I was just kind of trying to talk more about stuttering but he had asked me about Strategies that I have with stuttering and I I couldn't even talk about it was just as soon as he started talking about Feathering. I just completely lost. I broke down I was it was just a lot for me to talk about and I think ever since then and then I started opening more about up about stuttering. I went back to speech Theology and I started talking about strategies and that kind of thing about it. So, I don't know if there's one point in my life where I kind of was like, Accepted I think also off this is starting the page and seeing all the support. I've gotten from the page and the podcast is kind of when I realized. Oh, it's okay to start out and I've met so many different people who start off and like this is so cool. It was such a negative thing before and now it's such a positive part of my life. So I think just talking more about surgery has been kind of that point in my life. But even then like I still sometimes don't want to talk about it and even with friends and things I don't want to start in front of them. So I don't know it's I'm still still working towards it.

Maya:

Yeah, sometimes it feels like a burden to always have to educate people about stuttering like usually the most of the time I I love the opportunities to educate people but sometimes and just like, come on can't you just know already? Yeah, like why do I have to keep telling every new person? I meet I have a starter and it's like this. Blah blah blah and it's just like I feel like I sound like a robot. Sometimes I have to say the same thing like so many times.

Yes, exactly. And because it's it's not even just studying this there's so many other things that people just need to be educated on as well. So I don't know hopefully with more awareness and things it starts becoming more of just an everyday thing and not just all like this is so cool. I met this person who studies like, you know, like one way to spread awareness which we talked about before is

Getting is working with local governments to get them to recognize stuttering. And so I want to ask you about your interest in in that.

Priya:

Yeah, so um in Australia or at least in where I live in Sydney.

It's not really recognized at all. I know in in Brisbane, which is one of the other states they have like stuttering awareness day is actually recognized there and I remember seeing photos of buildings go up in green sorry, and it was just it was more of a recognizable event. Whereas in Sydney. It's not really like I've never seen anyone really talk about stuttering day. It's not seen anywhere. So I think it's a really important thing that it's becoming that it just Stuttering is getting more recognized in cities and in States and things because it is such a big thing that affects a lot of people so yeah.

Maya:

Yeah and maybe because when I did it here in San Francisco, I just I'm I've met so many people in San Francisco sit.

Since then so it might help you meet other.

People in Sydney who also stutter.

Priya:

Yeah exactly. I'm I'm trying to find people but it is quite hot to find people who start her in Sydney because again, it's not recognizable thing that much. So yeah, I think it's more research stuff.

Kyle:

I have a question for Maya.

Maya:

Oh God. Okay.

Kyle:

How do you think your life would be different at if you had started proud starter when you were previously?

Maya:

it's hard to answer that because I feel like the timing was really good when I started proud stutter, like I felt like it just it was time. I think I would have taken more risks in college. and I would have done more things because I feel like in college I didn't do a lot of things that I really wanted to do because of my stutter and one of those things was

Doing more public speaking and joining like the debate team or things like that. because I feel like if I was just if I embraced my stutter more I could have really stepped into that and

And done a lot of the the things in college I've always wanted to do but I'm glad I did it when I did it because now it's like better late than never. Think you're going to see.

And I'm sure you're already seeing it Pria. Like doors are just gonna keep opening for you like you're gonna do so much.

Priya:

Yeah, I hope and I think I kind of relate to the whole thing of like not doing things because I think even when I was I was at school I did I I wanted to join like the debate teams and stuff because sometimes I can get kind of it's feisty when it comes the topic. So I think we found that we really cool. But yeah at that point I just I because I thought I didn't want to do anything. But now I'm kind of signed to open up more about things and even I had a job interview a couple weeks ago and I was kind of like, oh, I have a start off and kind of like what you did is not like like a like a tribute thing but like I don't know how to explain it. But um, I was just kind of more open about my splatter and then I just kind of forgot that I had to start it with so focused on the job then I was actually the starter. Um, and I was like, wow, this is so cool because after talking about it so much and sometimes I feel like I'm talking about it actually doing it in real life. Like I'm talking about being so open about stuttering and to starter when you feel like it or anything like that, but then I'm so I'm still talking to people and talking to friends and I don't want to go up to restaurants and ask for the bill something just like a simple as that, but after that interview, I kind of realized like oh, okay like

That's okay.

A lot of the time people just like okay like they didn't really

Care as such they kind of just like you you do your anything it's fine. But I think after that I was kind of starting to realize that it's actually okay and I wasn't just talking about your stuff and not actually using it.

Kyle:

So I think something I heard you say earlier Prius like, you know, in terms of like media representation you you would love to see a world where they're like stuttering characters and that doesn't Define who they are. That's just sort of how they communicate um in your life. What what do you do outside of advocating for stuttering awareness?

Priya:

Um, well, I'm I'm in like my senior year. So it's a lot of studying. I've got like tutoring after this and like two hours. So let's studying but my parents actually own a wedding venue, so we're actually I'm helping out with that. I started learning how to DJ so I'm doing better DJing and stuff because I've got a very musical family, but

A lot of the time it's just watching shows and Netflix and stuff. Um, yeah, I'm kind of just doing a lot of Musical music stuff. And yeah.

Yeah.

Maya:

Both of our podcasts your stutter conversations mind. We're proud starter. We talk a lot about acceptance and repride.

And I think that's wonderful. And I think we both can. you know share in that just because we have reached a point or Journey where we accept our stutter and are proud of it. It's not like that. That's it. Okay my work like I'm I'm good with my stutter now, let's move on. No like it's a constant struggle still like I still feel embarrassed sometimes when I stutter in front of a people. I don't know well. I still have those moments of anxiety when I'm public speaking. It's just something that is always going to be there. But I think you know just accepting my stutter more just releases a lot of the pressure and just makes me go through life. In a lighter way.

Priya:

Yeah, and that's really good to hear. So because I always thought that after you accepted it's just like or whatever. Okay, it's just like a thing that just happens now, but yeah, it is actually really good to hear that it like it's still that's okay in that like it doesn't really Mattress I can kind of just because obviously stuttering has got its days. It's well, sometimes it's a good sometimes you can go a whole day with that stuttering. So yeah, I think that's also really important.

Kyle:

Where's Priya gonna be in five years?

Priya:

From my thinking what I usually say, yeah. Well, I I want to become an occupational therapist so full year course, they're probably usually and uni studying. Fuck your face. No therapy, but I don't know.

I guess studying. It's just for the next coffee is that's just kind of my life.

Maya:

Well, I'm confident you're gonna be an amazing occupational therapist. And in the meantime. pre and I are going to be working so Sydney can get a Stuttering Awareness Week there too. So stay tuned for for that and that's our show. Thank you both again so much for being here.

And that's it for this episode of proud stutter. This episode of proud stutter was produced and edited by me Maya chupkov. Our music was composed by Augusto Denise and our artwork by Mara Ezekiel and Noah chukov.

If you have an idea or want to be part of a future episode visit us at www.proudstutter.com, and if you like the show, you can leave us a review wherever you are listening to this podcast want to leave us a voicemail check out our show notes for the number to call in more importantly tell your friends to listen to until we meet again. Thanks for listening be proud and be you.