This Beauty Queen Is Proud Of Her Stutter (Pt 1)

Transcript

Maya Chupkov:

Hey everyone, Maya here host of proud stutter podcast. Before we get into today's episode, I have something I wanted to share production of proud stutters audio documentary is well underway. While we are so grateful for the grant from California humanities, I need your help. Part of the grant requirement is matching their $35,000 Grant. Can you help support the audio documentary by making a $5 donation today? Head to proud stutter.com/donate To make a donation. It's also in our show notes, you can just click on the link. Again, that's proud cetera.com/donate Thank you so much for your support. Okay, now let's talk about today's interview. Mia hintermann is our guest. She's a designer based in Chicago. Our co host is Lila Carrillo, one of my dearest friends.

I'm Maya Chupkov. And I'm a woman who stutters Welcome to proud stutter, a show about stuttering and embracing verbal diversity in an effort to change how we talk about it. one conversation at a time

Welcome back to proud stutter. I am so excited to be here with two incredible women. Our guest today is Mia hintermann Mia is a Chicago based model and designer. Last year she was a 2022 Miss Chinese Chicago contestant. Welcome Mia.

Mia Hitterman:

Thank you.

Maya:

Our co host is Leila Kareo. A dear friend of mine who works for a local supervisor here in San Francisco. Welcome, Lila.

Lila Carrillo:

Thank you. Yeah, I am super honored to be here.

Maya:

So my two guests here have quite the unique backstory. So after a work event one night I think this was like months ago, Lila texted me saying she saw this amazing woman at this passion contest share her story about stuttering. And she thought of me and connected us right away. And that's what happens to be Mia here. I know you guys haven't met yet. So this is just so wonderful. But yeah, I was wondering if you can tell us a little bit about the event here in San Francisco.

Mia:

So last San Juan. I actually joined Miss Chinese, Chicago. And so I was one of the past contestants. Once I was finished. My pageant mom, Victoria, she just she thought that my friend Len who is Mrs. Chinese, Chicago, the queen. She wanted the two of us to represent Chicago woman's Chinatown USA. And so that's really where I started being what confidence because I knew I would have to present myself not only with Chicago, but also jumpin fiscal, that will I became more confident in my photo and actually telling my whole joy of methadone

Maya:

and Lila, you were in the audience of this event in Chinatown, probably not expecting to hear about stuttering at a work event. So I'm wondering, can you tell us how it was to be in the audience of that event?

Lila:

No, it was an amazing event. So I was there definitely for for work, I was staffing. The supervisor, I actually ended up sitting at the table with her friends and the contingent from Chicago which was awesome. I didn't know and I didn't really put it together until Mia was introduced on stage and there was a little bit of a video about her and her bio and you know what she does and who she is and she was very proud about her Saturday she spoke about it in her video. And they you know had kind of had this shout out and it immediately I think for me connected that thought of knowing Mia Maya the work that you're doing in this podcast of course and our conversations around what you have told me about your journey with stuttering so anyway I you know it was inevitable for me to make the connection with how the work that that both me and Maya are doing around representing right your your journey your story and making it known for those of us who may not be as aware as familiar and then as everybody was cheering with their for their contestants, I realized oh, I'm sitting at her table at her contingent table. And so I connected with the gal that was there. I said, Oh my gosh, you know, I want to get a hold of her so, and I told her all about, you know, proud Stetter, and this project of yours, and I said, I would love to connect both of them. And that's how it started.

Maya:

And now we're here. Mia, can you talk to us a little bit about your backstory? What was it like growing up,

Mia:

I was born in Beijing, China, which is Neil Wuhan, my parents adopted me when I was like, two, and then I was bought here to Chicago. And so I think that one thing that shifted how I communicated, because I was with nannies who spoke like Mandarin, or Cantonese. And so when I think I met my pants as a baby, because they spoke a different language, I think that like, was a traumatic experience. Because I'm meeting people who don't look like me, plus, don't speak the same language. So I know that sometimes with trauma that can like, explain more about like, why I might have a stutter, here growing up. In Chicago, it was always difficult for me to introduce myself ever since I was small. And I would always go to speech therapy at my school. And but it was never really serious until I would say, middle school, when you actually have to do group presentations. And that was just the most horrifying thing. And so I was never really comfortable with my setup. Again, in high school, I was so shy, but then when I ended college, that's really when I thought to myself, like, okay, like this version of me, I want myself to be a different Lea, that people did not see in high school, just more like showing people more my personality,

Maya:

What made you want to join the pageant world?

Mia:

I joined Miss Chinese Chicago, because I wanted to just be more involved with my community and my culture. And that's what I really wanted, I have a sense growing up, it just I don't think I had the courage. And that's when I decided that it's not about the stuff, it's more about the community connection that I truly wanted. And so that was how I made the decision to go into pageantry and be comfortable with speaking in front of like, 200 people in Chicago, and then in San Francisco, from a Chinatown, USA, by Parker,

Maya:

I am so happy for you that you got to that place of really coming to terms of what you really wanted, which is community and really putting yourself out there to to go after that to community. And it seems like it's all paid off. And I think the story you just told us is just such a great example of how stepping out into the light and being more open about who we are, whether it's about her stutter or different parts of our identity. It's it's such a powerful thing. And as someone as young as you, I just think you're incredible. And I think a lot of people are gonna take a lot of way of what you just said,

Mia:

I'm not sure how I did it truthfully, honestly, and even going in San Francisco was a huge step in it, though, cuz this was like my second time getting going in San Francisco. And going without family and my friend and leaving school for a week and two days was like really hard. Because in my mind, I kept on thinking to myself, like, how am I going to do this? Like, like, for the second time, the first time was like, the hardest, but then I was like, how am I going to do that? Because I just didn't know what to expect because this is a like, actual pageant.

Lila:

Yeah, I felt like I was on a movie set was amazing. I was like, I felt like I was part of a movie scene. I didn't know what to expect them. All the ladies up there were brave and one of the things that I will say as a spectator as me I was sharing that I thought it was beautiful that her story was included this part of her identity I thought it was I actually thought it was very beautiful and revealing, I think, to some degree about you know, me your leadership and how you want to present yourself that you brought it forward. And that's what you spoke to. And I don't know, my if I shared also or that Mia has shared that she was thinking revolted also. Miss community service, right.

Mia:

Yeah.

Maya:

And what's that award about?

Mia:

I think they based it off of the video that I submitted, what you can find it on YouTube, just type in my name, and the video will pop up. And then I submitted a page about myself. And I think I put more about like my community service that I did with like Ms. Chinese, Chicago. And that's really where this all started, when that pageant. It's really based on community service in Chicago. And so I very, I was either thinking about doing fashion as my platform, but then I thought to myself, that it has to be about my subtle one, because I can't hide that on stage. no possible way. And I also don't want to hide it. I think a lot of that this is maybe one of their biggest insecurities. For me, it's a big insecurity. And so this was like an opportunity for me to finally feel like, I can breathe. Again, that sounds like really dramatic. But it's true. Like once I said it that night in Chicago, like I felt, so we like it was the most best feeling ever. I cried so much giving my speech. But I'm really happy that I did that for like, myself. And also, you know, so make sure that people know that, like, speaking, like, no one speaks perfectly, and it's okay to embrace your insecurities. I think that's the most amazing thing about Miss training. Chicago is all of us had this deep connection because we shared each of our own insecurities. And that's really where the bond grows, and where you can truly support each other. And I think that's really the beautiful thing about adamjee. It's just it's not showing a lot in pageantry. Like, that's not what people see.

Maya:

Yeah. Because before I kind of was looking into your story, when I thought of pageants I thought of like Miss Congeniality like, and you know, like those stairs, typical experiences. But seeing this other side of of pageantry through your story, it can be such a great way to build your confidence find. community build a platform to share, and inspire. So thank you for opening up my mind about pageantry.

Mia:

Yeah, I think going to San Francisco was such an eye opening experience for me. Because since like, I was only adopted on that stage. So I really use that experience to learn more about my culture. And I got that I got exactly that. That whole week. It really shocked me, because we had press conferences, and then people interviewing us all the time, on top of like, goes and I would be doing school on top of like, rehearse. So we would be up from seven. And then we wouldn't go to bed until like 12. So that, so that was every single day. And then, on the day of the pageant, I remember waking up at six in the morning to do school, because I knew I wouldn't get back to the hotel until like, one. And I was thinking to myself, like how I don't know what my study is going to be like. And it honestly, beginning was a little shaky, but once I did the padding, like everything was fine. It was fine. And my speech wasn't really any trouble until I came back to Chicago. That's when it started to happen.

Maya:

Yeah, you know that the more you just step in to who you are, the more freeing it is and the more authentic you feel, because I feel like there's so many things in society that are preventing us from really stepping into ourselves just because of all the stereotypes

Mia:

when I was given the title, consciousness community service, I was kind of wrong a little because I didn't think like that. I wouldn't be given a title. I was just like, I just have to do this, and then everything will be fine. So when I got the title, I was so proud because like I had overcome so much. And I don't think that like advocating was like, you know, inclusive. Like, rude evilly just know how to like, listen to people's story, and have compassion, that like, it's okay to take time when you're talking. And honestly, like, I think it's an important conversation. Because oftentimes in schools, it will be like, Okay, here's what we're gonna do to make sure that the classroom is a safe space for everyone. And I remember when I will do all my K to 12 education, I was never, I never truly thought they because of my stutter, so to speak. So I feel like this also helped me advocate for just like, teachers and scores, just to be more mindful of that. And so it was really nice to have support from like, my school, and like my pageant sister, and basically, just being able to help people in the audience was nice, too, because they, there was so many people they don't find like, depends, like, backgrounds like business, like community.

Lila:

Yeah, when I think that's something that resonates. Mia is mean, you said, nobody's perfect when they speak. Yet I think that we have, we don't really think about it, we just have this unreasonable, high expectation of others and each other, that somehow we are supposed to be perfect speakers, whatever that means. I don't even know. If I think about that. I'm like, I don't even know what that looks like, necessarily. And I'm sure that if we think about like, Oh, who's a perfect speaker for you, everybody will come up with something different, you know, what your what you share about that fear of, or insecurity about whether it be judged or how you come across, I mean, it's something that I've experienced with through a very different, you know, lens. And that's just because English is my second language. So coming to this country, I came when I was 15. And so my English was limited at best. It's amazing how terrifying it is to want to express yourself into somehow in your, in your mind and your guidance, you fear that you won't be able to do that without being judged. Whether it be because I myself had an accent, or I wasn't sure if I was using the right word. Often at times, I would use the wrong word and it would mean something different. And then everybody would bust out laughing.

Maya:

Oh my gosh, that's the worst. I remember. Lila that used to happen to me too with my stutter like people would poke fun of my stutter thinking it was funny, and they can make the group laugh. So that's unfortunate. But to switch gears, meow, I was scrolling through your Instagram and I love how you use your stuttering story as a way to teach people how to actively listen, can you tell us a little bit about that

Mia:

when my grandfather he had he he had a stroke. And I mean, mumble at the stroke caused him to pedal. And so that was very shocking to him. Because, like he has his speech has always been fluent. And well, him not being able to talk fluently was very discouraging for him. And so it was easy for me to teach him because of speech they'll be, you know, you do the new practice saying a word and then you put it into sentences. And like, it's really mostly about the breathing. So I think because of that experience, it allowed me to understand more how to like teach people how to learn how to speak again. And so I think for me, I always knew that someone how they speak is very important to them. And it shows a lot I think about the person, but also that that speaking is hard. Like so I think it's really hard. And it's really just about making sure that the other person feels comfortable and that you are really like listening. So I think really just from my past experiences in therapy, and with like my grandfather, I think that why it's so easy for me to teach people

Maya:

Yeah, and going back to this topic of active listening, something that I've noticed about myself when in conversations, either at work or even with friends, is when I feel myself that I've been that I've been more consistent stutter than normal. Sometimes it's hard for me to be an active listener, because I'm so focused on how I'm going to respond what words I'm going to say so that I don't stutter. And then I kind of miss part of the conversation, and I'm not fully present. And I find this especially hard on Zoom, because there's just so much distractions and can turn off your camera and all that stuff. So that's just something that I guess I will continue to work on.

Mia:

I think that's the same for me that sometimes maybe when I'm talking, I am very harsh on myself and like, like, I'll be like, oh, like, like, did I say that? Like, okay, like, I could have done a better job. Like just thinking about your own style of wire from lenez talking, because like, you shouldn't be thinking about like, oh, like, what have mines, that Oh, is bad, but I feel like that's kind of what like we grew up with. No one thought but like, that's how you know stuttering is I feel like in school, it's like, and I think that's why it's so important to talk about, like, What can teachers do to support students with photos and have a conversation about that, because, like, you know, baking is like everyone has to speak. But there is a way to do it, where everyone feels comfortable. And that's also like when I went to San Francisco, when, when like, I was going to the hotel, I was thinking about like the promise that I had made to myself, that no matter what, if I stuttered on stage, and even if I am going, like past, the time that I am given that I'm not going to leave the stage until like, until I basically finish what I want to say.

Maya:

And that concludes part one of our interview with Mia and Leila. Our Part Two Episode will air in two weeks. And we speak to Mia about her multiple identities and how she uses fashion to express herself and much more. Stay tuned in two weeks for that rest of the conversation. And that's it for this episode of proud steder this episode of proud stutter was produced and edited by me, Maya Chupkov. Our music was composed by a gusto, Denise and our artwork by Mara zekiel and Noah to calm. If you have an idea or want to be part of a future episode, visit us at www dot proud stutter.com And if you liked the show, you can leave us a review wherever you're listening to this podcast. Want to leave us a voicemail, check out our show notes for that the number to call in more importantly, tell your friends to listen to until we meet again. Thanks for listening. Be proud and be you